Thursday, June 11, 2015

Weekend Recap

This weekend was busy but so much fun. It is spring time which means all weekends are about to be busy but when things slow down I won't know what to do with myself!

Saturday morning started out with me attending a baby shower for one of my beautiful friends. My boys went for breakfast then went fishing. I had to leave the baby shower early so we could head to OKC for some family time. Before we left though I ran to the mall to get my sunglasses fixed. The screw fell out months ago and I kept forgetting to go have them fixed. Now I can alternate between my workout sunglasses and my "fashion" sunglasses! Yay! While at the mall I also stopped by my favorite little boutique. They have so much cute spring stuff in right now! I have my eye on this beautiful lilac dress to wear to a wedding in May. I'll share as soon as I get it. :) After a kid free morning for me and a fun father son morning for my boys we threw some clothes in a bag and jumped in the car to head to OKC. When I say threw some clothes in a bag I'm not kidding that's exactly what I did. I had to take one cute outfit but other than that we just needed clothes to lounge in.

Once in OKC we went to my parents house. It was a nice day so we just hung out on the patio and watched Blake play in the back yard. Eventually family and friends gathered to dye easter eggs. My dad grilled hotdogs, hot links, and chicken sausages for everyone. I don't think I even finished eating before the kids were ready to dye easter eggs. Blake was very anxious and excited to get the colors mixed and dye his eggs. It was my nieces first time to dye eggs and I think she enjoyed herself. Her blue hand proved it! After dying eggs Blake ran around shooting people with his water gun he got in his easter basket. It was not warm enough for water play but he and Xander (family friend) had a great time squirting everyone.

I tried to take pictures but I was a little scared to get to close to the table with my nice clothes on. Here are a few that I did snap on my phone.

Sunday we started the morning off with a pancake breakfast, Blake's favorite! Mom and I had a wedding shower to attend in the afternoon and the boys (Andrew, my dad, Blake) went to Norman. Blake has been talking about going to OU for a few days now to see where Daddy went to school. Andrew said he (Blake) loved that everything had OU on it. He even wanted his picture by a trashcan. Ha! Mom and I ended up parting ways before the shower so she could go pick up the grandmothers and so I could go with my Aunt Stacey to help set up the shower.

The wedding shower was for my cousin Jarrett and his future wife Jenn, lets just call her my cousin too! She is the cutest sweetest girl and they are so perfect together! Her mom threw her the perfect wedding shower. The games were fun, the food was fantastic, the company was top notch and the venue was perfect. (I'm just going to throw this out there if you need a venue in OKC look up Dunlap Codding. It is a law firm but they rent their space out for really cheap. It has a full kitchen, large room and opens up to a cute little patio.) Anyway we had a great time at the shower and I wish I could share pictures with you but unfortunately I lost them all when I switched to a new to me phone this morning. Serious palm to the forehead moment. I managed to get one picture on my Instagram before I lost them all. If you follow me there then you saw the beautiful bride to be! If you don't follow me there first, you should, second you can see the picture here.

After the shower we had dinner with my parents and grandparents on both sides as well as my brother and niece. We stopped by Andrew's moms house to visit with her quickly before heading back home. We finally made it home last night at 11pm.

Whew what a busy but fun weekend. This weekend was just what I needed though. I sort of disconnected from the social media world and my phone in general. I was able to spend enough time away from Blake that when he did crazy things today I was able to smile at his cuteness instead of becoming annoyed. This weekend cured my momma burn out! As Andrew said earlier, good because you are about to be in close quarters with him for a long time! So excited for our up coming family adventure!

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Monday, June 1, 2015

Infertility- When this Really Journey Started

Proof that I can't resist the yummy sweets lately.

As I sit here in the car letting my precious boy sleep I can't help but think about what today marks for me on this journey of infertility. Two years ago today I stopped taking my birth control so we could start trying to have another baby. I'll never forget the day because it is also my brothers wedding day. I honestly didn't stop taking it until that date for two very selfish reasons. Here they are 1. I didn't want to be fat, even if it was pregnant not actually fat, in any of the pictures and 2. I wanted to be able to drink. Looking back now those reasons are the stupidest reasons ever! I mean seriously am I that vain? I guess sometimes I can be. 

Now though, now, I can't believe it was two years ago that we were unknowingly starting this difficult journey. I thought we would have a baby in about a year and our family would be complete. While it is sad, painful and so many other things, a flood of emotions really I am also happy and optimistic about what the future holds for our family. It has taken me a while to get to this point but I'm here!

I have 60 days left on Lupron. I am so close to completing my 6 months of treatment. That's something to jump up and down and celebrate about! You know what I just might do that, jump up and down to celebrate because it will take my mind off how tough this journey really has been.

I feel like I need a plan for the next 60 days and you know what? I've got one. I've got a summer schedule for Blake and I. I've got a trip planned hopefully planning another one too. Most importantly I've got my mind in the right place. It's easy to sit around and cry and be sad but that's not going to work for me. I mean I wouldn't mind doing that today since I feel a little sappy but I cried a little while writing this and that is enough. I let the tears fall when necessary but my mind is not set on the negative. My mind is set on the positive. I'm trying to keep my focus on right now and take it day by day. I've set a workout schedule for myself and a meal plan focus. (If I could just stay away from all the sweets. Ugh) I'm working on me and getting back to where I feel comfortable in my skin. My goal here = toned and tightened!  I'm also working on something special for The Swin Life. I can't wait to share it. (Insert school girl excitement here!) I'm filling my plate but being very careful not to overload it. I think I've got the perfect amount to keep me busy and let my mind wander to the future a little but also keep me centered here and now. 

Before I leave I'll just share a few of the mind wandering thoughts I have. After all it is easier to accept them and not completely ignore them. Are you ready for this...How long is it going to take us to get pregnant? Are we going to be able to get pregnant? Miscarriage probability? What's life going to be like with a 5ish year old and a baby? How do I keep from relying on Blake as a major helper and allow him to continue to be a kid? Is the pre mentioned even going to be an issue? Will we have a boy or girl? Is trying going to take us back to the vicious cycle we were in before we found out about the endometriosis? Can I even handle being a mom of two? Am I crazy for even going through this process? (The answer to that is NO. We have a how far is too far and how much is too much. We aren't there!) {I asked if you were ready for it and I bet you weren't unless you've been in this situation.} Then I keep telling myself one step at a time. Be patient, be positive, be encouraging and stop rushing this! I know my body needs time and time is what I will continue to give it.

Ahh so what I'm super excited about is the new blog and new look coming for The Swin Life! You guys I'm telling you it's so perfectly me! My apologies for being so absent over the last month or more. May really took me for a ride and I didn't enjoy it at all. I'm ready for June though! It will be better.

Sending you all some positivity and courage!